留学资讯> >

你的托福写作一直徘徊在23分,原来是因为缺少...

2018-06-26

在浩荡的托福备考大军中,不乏有众多的“考霸钉子户”,他们上过N多个培训班,考了很多次,但成绩仍没有实质性突破。作为托福考试主观考查的一个单项--写作一直以来都是我们学生的老大难,今天小编就拿托福独立写作作为例子告诉你为什么的你的托福写作一直考不出来!



上过培训班的学生想必都学过各种各样的理论、方法并背过一些漂亮的词汇和句子,但是为什么我们的作文分数始终不能提升?总是在22/23分左右徘徊?我们学会了审题,学会了怎样去想出足够的合理的分论点,怎样去设计文章的总体框架以及每一段的内部结构,也学会了如何用不同的方法来证明一个分论点,为什么作文还是那么多分?不上不下,甚至忽上忽下!


独立写作其实是一个学生思维过程的体现,在这个过程中,我们需要针对一个话题去体现我们的深度分析能力和逻辑推理能力。很多学生掌握了基本的框架和方法,比如用分析因果,对比论证,举例子等去证明一个观点,段落的基本条理和框架都不错,但是我们不妨回头看看我们写的文章,你的段落内部的每一个小的part写的够“精”吗?


我们来看一个例子(from one of my students):


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? 

When teachers assign projects on which students must work together,  the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 

Position: agree 


(主体段一):To begin with, team members will help students address some problem which they cannot handle it by themselves. When students do some homework, they will definitely face a lot of difficulties and challenges. If they work in a group, they can corporate with others, and other students who can handle the problem can teach them how to manage this problem. So not only can students address this problem quickly, but also they can learn how to fix up similar problems. By contrast, if a learner work alone, when he faces a problem, he have to do some researching to find how to find the method to solve it, which will consume a plenty fo time. what is worse, he maybe cannot find a answer by himself, and he has to ask others.


我们暂且不考虑这一段的拼写及语言错误,学生的基本的语言能力还是比较不错的。不过,这一段的文章其实也就在23分左右了(样本评估),这一段中,学生主要采用了原因分析和对比来证明段首的观点,基本的框架和方法他学到了,但问题是什么呢?


1、 观点句不明确

整段文章其实讲的就是一个efficiency,所以观点句最好围绕efficiency这个词去写,可以写成,Working together on an assignment promotes efficiency。观点句作为总领句,必须一步到位,让读者看到这句话就知道你这一段想表达什么意思,中心词要突出。


2、 不够精

虽然解释原因或者对比论证相对于例子来讲都属于一般性的分析,但是如果像这个小作者这样的分析就会显得比较空,分析的时候我们其实也可以提供细节。


“When students do some homework, they will definitely face a lot of difficulties and challenges. If they work in a group, they can corporate with others, and other students who can handle the problem can teach them how to manage this problem. So not only can students address this problem quickly, but also they can learn how to fix up similar problems”。


就拿这一部分来讲,其实我的学生并没有分析到位,重点要分析为什么cooperation会让我们更加高效地解决问题?需要解释出细节。比如: 


It is widely acknowledged that different students have distinct ability, specialty, methods, and perspectives of analyzing a particular problems. Therefore, they can divide certain assignment into different part and steps like planning, searching information, supervising and conducting, etc according to their respective advantage. Undoubtedly this will make them able to finish the assignment more quickly minimizing the possible errors on each step.

*整理自网络

结束语

大家可以对比这一下这两部分论证,哪一部分更能体现我们的分析能力呢?所以大家在作文这一部分一定要粗中有细,精益求精。此外,今年暑假棒呆的托福作文话题素材班一定能使得你如虎添翼~


【课程名称】:托福作文话题素材班(微信授课) - 7月班


【课程时间】:
每个月中间两周为滚动周期,长期固定开课。  

7月班:7月2日(周一)-7月5日(周四);7月9日(周一)-7月12日(周四),共计8天课程


【课程费用】:2199元


【适合学员】: 
1. 8-11年级学生 
2. 托福考生,在作文部分明显感觉到瓶颈,分数在20-23分之间


【课程内容】: 

1.每节课精讲一个托福独立作文话题
2.了解话题背景知识
3.掌握话题常见论点分类
4.学习各论点背后的核心词汇和表达


【课程目标】: 
1. 解决思路狭窄,找不到论点的问题 
2. 改善社会话题看法粗浅,带有中式逻辑的问题

3. 搞定用词不准,带有中式表达的问题


【报名方式】:



您可能感兴趣的文章

关注棒呆美本精选

arrow

即刻获得
每日新鲜留学资讯

棒呆美本精选
在线免费咨询
400-086-0711
APP微信微博
APP
棒呆APP

一款留学党不可错过的APP

WeChat
微信顾问

棒呆国际教育高端北美申请顾问

weibo
微博服务号

最新留学动态早知道